silence is the most powerful scream

So the term has ended, with one block down and four more to go. I have learnt quite a bit during these eight weeks, about myself, physiotherapy and the system that we are all compliant to. We spoke under a lot of themes but one that got stuck in my mind and kind of intrigued me was the issue of compliance and power.

Power is the capability or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events (“definition of power”) and compliance is the act or process of conforming to a desire , demand, proposal or regimen or intimidation (“definition of compliance”). Giving effective feedback to a learner is crucial for their development in a clinical setting(ref).

After a clinical exam or supervision session we have a feedback session where the supervisor asks you questions about your goals for the patient and then gives you feedback on your treatment session. Criticism will always feel like a personal attack but I am always able to try and find an aspect where what is being said can help me. I have had constructive criticism from superiors before and I would always appreciate the feedback. I had an incident when the feedback session felt it shifted from being constructive to an attack. I was not comfortable during the whole session, i was very upset and the supervisor just kept talking but I was not hearing anything. She asked me questions and I did not respond, because I was both upset and defiant. I had endured what felt like shouting for more than 20 minutes . Even though there were instances where I felt disrespected and I was angry a part of me still felt like she had the right to speak to me like I was a grade school student which made me in turn act like one. What could I possibly do ? I thought. She is my superior and like a teacher she had every right to shout at me and I sat there and took it like a school child.

Reflecting on this term and the themes we spoke about made realize a pattern in my behavior, the tendency to keep quiet even when I need to speak up for myself. I always try to keep quiet in situations that challenge me because I am afraid, afraid that I struggle to control my emotions which really holds me back in confrontations with my superiors because I never want to be disrespectful. It is said that silence can speak volumes but it has now become a safety net for me, a place of refuge.

What this course and clinical practice has taught me this past term is that there many ways to confront issues. If Im really emotional the day of incident I can always come back and revisit the issue when i am calm. I think that it has also woken up this willingness to be daring and to challenge things and going on to my next blocks I want to put all of these into practice, as this will help make clinical practice more enjoyable . I believe that if I am enjoying going to work and looking forward to it will improve my patient interactions and sessions as well.

“Definition Of COMPLIANCE”. Merriam-webster.com. N.p., 2017. Web. 14 Apr 2017.

Anderson, Peter. A. M. (2012) . Giving feedback on clinical skills: are we starving our young?.Journal of graduate Medical education, 4(2), 154-158

 

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