People don’t fear dying, they fear living


 Speaks what cannot be expressed.

Soothes the mind and gives it rest.

Heals the heart and makes it whole.

Flows from heaven to the soul”

-Angela Monet


I believe that music is not only used to express thoughts and feelings, but I believe it is also used as a means of communication and delivering messages.

At my twenty-first birthday party, we decided to film an air-band video. I was one of two guitarists, we had someone as the drummer, we had two people as the crowd and we had my soon to be brother-in-law as the lead singer.

My brother-in-law claimed that he was Ironman. And just like Ironman, he was strong, both mentally and physically. He soared above the clouds from a Monday through to a Friday as a pilot, and on weekends he enjoyed board games and spending time with his friends. He loved life – and life loved him right back. He opened his arms and his heart to everyone and every opportunity that was handed to him. He knew the words to every song and sang his heart out wherever and whenever he could – which was always. He lived life.

When someone who has had a massive impact on your life passes away suddenly, it’s difficult to come to terms with it. It’s difficult to come to terms with not having said your final goodbye, or not realising that the last time you saw them would be the last time. But I believe that often, people can communicate with you through music and lyrics. Looking back at the video today, I realised that there was a message within the video.

 “It just takes some time,

little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride.

Everything, everything will be just fine,

everything, everything will be alright, alright”

The Middle – by Jimmy Eat World


I think this was his way of telling me that everything was going to be just fine and everything would be alright.

A few weeks prior to his passing, while with his friends, a song played and he said that when he dies, he would want this song to be played at his funeral.

“If I ever leave this world alive

I’ll thank you for all the things you did in my life

If I ever leave this world alive

I’ll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight

Wherever I am you’ll always be

More than just a memory

If I ever leave this world alive”

If I ever leave this world alive – Flogging Molly

For a twenty-six year old to be choosing his funeral song showed how he did not fear death because he lived life to the fullest. While listening to the song the line “if I ever leave this world alive” stuck to me. The normal definition for “alive” would be something or someone who has a heartbeat or is not dead. However, in this context, I think what was meant by “alive” was active, energetic, vibrant, spirited and enthusiastic, the qualities that my brother-in-law always displayed. When he passed away he was still someone filled with a passion for life.

There was a song that I listened to days before his funeral, and still continue to listen to.

“Nobody knows how to say goodbye

It seems so easy till you try…

Nobody knows how to get back home

And we set out so long ago

Searched the heavens and the Earth below

Nobody knows how to get back home.

Through the darkness to the dawn

And when I looked back you were gone

Heard your voice leading me on

Through the darkness to the dawn”

Nobody knows – The Lumineers


I’ve always feared death, and I think the vast majority of people in this world do too. Death is imminent. It happens to everyone but when it happens to someone who’s twenty-six years old, someone so young and innocent who has not experienced life fully, that’s the death people fear most. My brother-in-law changed my outlook on life. I’ve always been someone who gets caught up on the smaller things in life, be it a practical test, group assignment or the unnecessary hurdles that life has to offer. I’ve taken numerous calming tablets to help me deal with my stress and I’ve spent weekends after weekends at home just stressing. He always encouraged me to let go of people who belittled me, to always follow my heart, to sing to every song and to live life to the fullest. I believe he’s here with me every step of the way, he’s communicating with me through songs, reminding me that everything will be just fine, encouraging me to live.

Death is a scary thing to think about but if you live life fully every day, with so much zest and vibrancy, the thought of dying shouldn’t be so scary. I don’t think people fear dying, I think people fear living.









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