The eyes are the window to your soul.

NOTE:

In order to improve the quality of my post I have to correct grammatical, spelling errors and in-text referencing errors. I was also asked to link the name of the post more to the content of my post. In my opinion, the name of the post does link with the content. In summary, I am posting about an emotional situation that resulted in me resenting my clinician, at the end of the post I speak about having conjunctivitis in my eyes. The reason why the name of the post is “The eyes are the window to your soul,” is because, my sore eyes were a reflecting of the resentment/negativity that was residing in my soul. This also links up with Guy Winch mentions in the first video which was said to be irrelevant to the post.

 

A day before I started my clinical block at Groote Schuur Hospital (GSH), my terminally ill  cousin (she was diagnosed with cancer) who has been residing In Durban for the past 8 years was transferred to GSH. On my first day at GSH I was asked to go to the oncology ward. For the first time ever, I was reluctant to do what was asked of memorality vs ethics 2_2 by my clinician. This was because I did not want to walk into my terminally ill cousin during my initial GSH experience. As a result of this I asked to go to another ward instead, but, my request wasn’t granted. I then went ahead with my work in that ward against my will. As the days passed, I saw my cousins’ condition worsen rapidly. She passed away two weeks later. I was faced with situations when I had to treat patients that were laying in the same bed that she laid in. I developed a sense of resentment towards my clinician, this resentment escalated. It did not surface outwardly; so everybody thought I was fine, but instead I had a huge rage towards my clinician.
Morally, I think that the clinician could have made provision for me to be swapped with another student, allowing me to work in another ward instead of the oncology ward. This would have been more beneficial for me (and the clinician should have been mindful of what is best for students in certain situations). If I was put in a different ward I would not have been constantly faced with the emotional turmoil (of my dying cousin) while trying to meet my professional and academic demands. If I was in a more healthier emotional state, my patients would have benefited more from my physiotherapy management. On the other hand I can see why she chose to keep me in that ward because; in the real working world (which I will be finding myself in the next 5 months) I will not be able to ‘adjust’ my environment to suit my emotions.
Ethically I was required to treat my patients to the best of my ability and not doing harm to them regardless of the situation I found myself in. I was ethically required to follow the instructions from my superior who was my clinician. If it was not for these ethical boundaries, I probably would have allowed my emotions to dictate my actions. Ethics are put into place to prevent the overstepping of boundaries, these boundaries has governed my decision to act in an ethical manner (Reichner, 2014).
I ruminated on the day that she told me that I had no choice but to work in the oncology ward, this worsened the resentment I experienced towards my clinician. Winch (2015), said: “by battling negative thinking, you won’t just heal your psychological wounds, you will build emotional resilience, and you will thrive in all aspects of your health.” Interestingly enough, just before the start of the exam week of this clinical rotation I got sick (I had conjunctivitis in both my eyes) preventing me from doing my exam. This links with Winchs’ statement, because I had a poor psychological well-being which affected my physical well-being.
The reason why I developed this resentment was because I was nearly forced to see how my cousins condition worsened by the hour while having the pressure of passing exams and getting through my daily patient list. I had to play too many roles at once. I had to be a loving cousin, a professional physiotherapist and a diligent student all at the same time. My resentment escalated to a point where I started feeling bad for having these negative emotions in my heart. I tried to think of my clinician in a more positive light, but I couldn’t. I could reason through why she done what she done, but that resentment still filled my heart. Clark (2015), says that we cannot control how we feel, but we can control the way we act in response to those emotions. Reflecting on this situation, I believe that I have acted in an ethical manner. This was the toughest. I feel like disrespecting her and letting her experience some sort of turmoil too, would’ve been easier to do. Thankfully I have learnt earlier in my undergraduate career that I cannot allow my emotions and morality to affect my professionalism and ethical boundaries which I am bound by. as mentioned before, this has taught me that you cannot always adjust our environment to suit you, you have to adapt! So for that reason I can be thankful for my clinician for not just giving me the easy way out.

REFERENCE LIST:

Ethics Ted Talk /Haylie Reichner [Video file]. (2014). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO4mgCDtMXs

How to Practice Emotional First Aid | Guy Winch | TED Talks [Video file]. (2015). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2hc2FLOdhI

The Myth of Emotional Control | Elizabeth Clark | TEDxFordhamUniversity [Video file]. (2015). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YVbtYvgCpo

THE FOLLOWING ARE VIDEOS THAT I HAVE MADE USE OF:

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6 Replies to “The eyes are the window to your soul.”

  1. Wow! What a great post! I can only imagine how devastating the experience was, and the impact it had on your performance and health. It’s amazing how emotions have the ability to fuel our actions and the way we feel about certain things (like your clinician, in this case).
    I loved the structure and how personal the content was; it definitely hooked me as the reader.
    Although there were a few grammatical errors, I could clearly understand the ideas you were bringing across. The references you used were relevant, appropriate and linked well with the situation you found yourself in. However, when doing in-text citations, it is not necessary to put the author’s full name; the surname and year is all that is needed.
    In my opinion, the title does not exactly match the post; perhaps the title could have included something about emotions or the concept of mind over matter. The media was somewhat appropriate and linked to the title.
    Overall, I really enjoyed this post and it is evident that a lot of thought was put into the writing of it.

    Like

  2. Hi Tarryn,

    I am very impressed with the way in which you handled the situation in such a professional manner. I know how difficult that must have been for you. Our emotions often get the best of us, especially when a family member is involved. I truly hope that this experience has made you stronger internally; to take on challenges such as these and prepares you for your journey ahead as a qualified physiotherapist. This was a very interesting post and it has given me some insight into how a situation as such should be dealt with. Well done!

    Your choice of image and title corresponds very well with each other, however I found it difficult in linking them with your post. I get that the image is of an eye with tears- showing emotion which is your main topic in the post, but your title should have also mentioned something with regards to how you felt and how you dealt with it professionally. Furthermore, you have posted very interesting videos, however your first video by Guy Winch made me confused as to how it linked with what your post was saying. Your second video would not play as it said “this video is private” and your last video (by Elizabeth Clark) was an excellent fit with your post as it gave me a break down of emotion and reasoning in our brains and how we perceive emotional control. I understand your thinking a lot better after watching this video.

    There are a few punctuation errors such as unnecessary capital letters in the middle of a sentence, and random letters in a sentence which I know must have been an innocent mistake. Its important to read your post a few times before posting it. Other than these minor errors, it was a good read!

    Like

  3. Thank you for sharing this personal and honest story. I know it must have been difficult to work in that environment and commend you for getting through it.

    Like

  4. Hi Tarryn,

    Your blog post was very insightful and honest. I like that you handled this situation in the most professional way. It was great how you reflected and brought in evidence from literature into your post.

    More on what you can improve on:

    Content: Good. Your information was clear on the topic.You addressed the topic quite well.

    References: Satisfactory. Your references support your claims that were made using the external reliable sources. Your in-text references and reference list are incorrect according to the APA guideline. I suggest that to improve on this follow APA guidelines. You also need to make use of more journal articles and external resources.

    Structure: Satisfactory. You can improve your grammar throughout this blog. Your sentence structure was good.

    Argument: Good. Your argument was good. However, you can add more external reliable resources to back up your claims.

    Technology: Satisfactory. You need to add more images in your blog post. It will also make your writing more interesting. Your cover profile image and videos link well to your blog post.

    Overall impression of blog post:
    Your blog post was concise. I hope my feedback and comments will help you in this blog post and in the future.
    Good attempt Tarryn! All the best with the rest of your posts.

    Like

  5. Hi Tarryn

    WOW, this post is so honest and truthful. I cannot imagine the emotional strain it put on you, I had to write my matric final exams a week after losing a close family member to cancer. I think your clinician acted in your best interest, at the time it may not have been clear ;however now you are able to reflect back and realize that it made you not only a stronger individual. It taught you how to be professional regardless of your situation, for that needs to be commended. Good use of media ;however, I just feel that you have inserted too many of the videos at the end, rather add it throughout the post as you see fit. Please have a read through your post before uploading to correct the grammatical and spelling errors.

    Like

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